Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Word Drops

Last night we watched the sweetest short film.
It was centered around the theme of people 
entering and exiting our lives,
and how the abrupt shifts in those relationships
ultimately can become a catalyst for a bigger change.
It showcased the difficulty associated 
with someone you love leaving you;
be it platonic love, parental love, romantic love.
And it made me think.
And it made me feel.
And it made me cry.
Dean asked if it was a sad cry or a happy one, and I couldn't really tell.
I think it was a mixture of both.
I had been wanting to share an update on the blog for a while now –
but  each time I sat down to write
the words tasted stale and tinny in my mouth, 
like chewing on aluminum.
I'm not sure why.
And then last night we watched this little movie
and it made all the words floating around in my head
drip out of me in the form of salty tears.
It felt pretty good – to release those tears,
 the happy and the sad mixing together.
It was like I could see the words that were stuck in my head,
roll down my cheeks in liquid word drops: 
‘disappointed.’ ‘nostalgic.’ ‘comforted.’ ‘unsure.’ ‘loved.’
Sometimes you just need a little cry I guess.
Followed by a kiss on the forehead and the switch of a lamp.
Here’s to a gentle and happy Tuesday, friends.


Monday, February 9, 2015

Random Acts of Kindness

Today is the start of Random Acts of Kindness week,
with the grand finale being Valentine's Day. 
I am pretty sure my heart is going to explode confetti hearts. 
So go ahead! Don't be shy. 
Make an  extra effort to show love and kindness 
to all living creature that surround you,
big and small. 
As Christian Larson said: 
" Think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud words but great deeds.
To live in faith that the whole world is on your side
so long as you are true to the best that is in you.”

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

On Being Brave

John Wayne said that courage is being scared to death,
but saddling up anyway. 
I didn't. 
Last night, I wanted to be brave. 
But I wasn't. 
I found myself caught off guard.
 I'd like to say that my response to the scenario was selfless -
that I reacted in a way that would
ultimately spare some discomfort.
But I still felt like a chicken.
Here's what I earned though:
No matter how much you prepare,
some circumstances are going to be a little scary.
And after the initial jolt,
a long walk on a cold night can do wonders for the nerves.
So can a slice of pizza.
And a phone call to someone who loves you.
Followed by a long hug and a deep sigh.
And the promise that tomorrow will be better.
and good.

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Winter Solstice Wishes

Today, the sun dips to it's lowest point in the sky,
giving us a delayed dawn and an early sunset.
Happy Winter Solstice. 
From here on out, every day moving forward will be a bit brighter. 
In a few short days, I'll have my feet in the sand 
and my face towards the sun.
Christmas spent by the Caribbean Sea.
I. Can't. Wait.
I'm appreciative of the growth and 
self awareness the past 12 months brought,
but am very much forward facing to the New Year. 
As I consider this past year,
I was encouraged and inspired by most.
Loved and supported by many.
Disappointed by few.
I'm content with that breakdown. 
I don't typically count blessings.
I am more of a 'thank my lucky stars' type of gal. 
So ultimately, I send 2014 off with a kiss and a fond goodbye.
And as we usher in 2015, 
I will look up towards a sky full of big, bright, beautiful stars. 
I wish the very same for each and all of you. 

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

For Simple Things...

My eyes are clear. My heart is full.
I have sunshine on my shoulders,
and a hand that holds mine.
For these simple things, I am grateful.
Happy Thanksgiving friends.
“For each new morning with its light, for rest and shelter of the night, for health and food, for love and friends, for everything thy goodness sends. I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving for my friends, the old and new.” 

      Ralph Waldo Emerson

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Autumn's Pause

I've wanted to share an update for a long time now.
But see,  there were dance floors to shimmy on, 
and giant sequoias to gape at.
There were trails on which to get my shoes dusty
 And too many big moon nights, requiring the attention of my eyes.
There were hawks – darting in and out of the shadows of the trees that begged me to spot them.
There were meals to share, introductions to be made; glasses to clink.
There were old friends, who had to meet new.
There was Manzanita-scented air, inhaled deeply into my lungs.
And shooting stars, tallied from the bottom of Yosemite valley, my parents by my side.
And sure, there were moments where there was nothing at all.
But that’s what I needed.
Just a quiet corner, and the pleasure of visiting with people that didn't require an explanation.
There were scenarios where words were fumbled, and hearts ached.
Where I felt anger rise from my feet and heat up my cheeks.
And then of course, there were instances of the purest joy,
with honey-coated whispered words, so sweet and true.
There were simple moments, really.
But they were mine.
Happy Autumn, until we speak again, friends. 

Thursday, August 21, 2014

To August, With Love

I always write of August. 
Likely because it is my birthday month, 
it is August during which I am most nostalgic and reflective. 
I think of stretches of summer days
spent in Maine with my family, 
and long lazy weekends at the beach with girlfriends. 
I have great memories of swapping stories
and sipping beers with friends, 
late into the humidity of the night back east.
Of sun burnt skin, salt water kayaking and backyard lounging.
A friend recently told me, I often update Big Moon Sky in moments of worry, or apprehension.
And to some extent, this is true.
It is easier for me to process moments of worry through writing, 
and so the blog becomes an outlet for those instances.
But it's all shooting stars and sunshine in this post folks! 
image is my own
This summer has been a real slam dunk. 
A string of weekends up in Tahoe -
barbecuing at the base of the river, 
night skies so bright with stars,
 I have to pinch myself to believe its real. 
Dancing in Golden Gate Park with my little sister, 
with flowers in our hair.and smiles on our faces.
Days with my toes dangling from the edge of a boat, 
cheering on friends and clinking glasses towards the sun.
Sunday cocktails and home cooked meals, enjoyed in the backyard of friends.
Nights filled with music and spontaneity - a new feature in my world. 
And goats. So many goats. 
I am quite content these days. 
A steady sunbeam of happy. 
A constant stream of giggles.
And its the best.