Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Goodnight, Moon

Last night, I set out to chase the moon.  
I didn't know if the blood moon would live up to its name, and I didn't want to be disappointed.
But it did. And I wasn't.
The stars even got a little jealous of the magic of the moon last night,  because a couple of them decided to shoot across the sky – daring us to take our eyes off of the eclipse.
We had to cross the bridge and climb up through the fog to lasso it.
That pesky marine layer put up a good fight, but we ended up finding the perfect spot in a quiet little park at the base of the bay.
(image is my own)
Sky gazing can make you feel so small I suppose, when you start to think about the universe stretching on forever.  
But, it didn't make me feel insignificant at all.
Don’t laugh at me. But I felt really connected to the universe. Connected and curious.
And I felt a sort of comfort, thinking about all of the other people bundled up and bleary-eyed, craning their necks up to look at the exact same moon, at the exact same time, 
well passed our bedtimes.
This big old orange moon, commanding the attention of everyone’s eyes – gently pulling us in closer.
It’s kind of a nice thought, right?  
Wishing you the galaxy and beyond.


Tuesday, April 1, 2014

With Arms Outstretched

The word itself sounds happy. And bouncy. And light.
Last night, I dreamt that piles of flowers
came pouring from the sky.
Big cheerful petals and blossoms. 
They fell gentle, on my chest. 
With arms outstretched, and up towards the sun:
This is how I welcome April.
(image is my own) 
You taught me lessons I never wanted to learn. 
Although, I am grateful that I did. 
You showed me the value of people. 
Who listened.
Without consequence or judgement. 
Without impatience or skepticism. 
They let words and worries tumble out of me, 
many of which had sour notes.
And they didn't rush to make things sweeter. 
Instead, they let me empty every last thought.
And slowly, 
this anchor I'd been dragging started to rust away. 
It makes me happy. And bouncy. And light. 
Happy Spring. 

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Adventure is Calling

My eyes need a sky full of stars,
my lungs, the deep inhale of sea salt air.
My legs crave the ache of a long day on a dusty trail.
And my skin, the comfort of the desert sun.
Once, I told my little sister that I wished I could go hug a saguaro.
Well, I would tomorrow if I could,
and tell all my secrets to the trees. 
I whispered some wishes to the bay today,
but it didn't quite wash away the nagging need for an adventure.
image unknown
If my grandma had been walking with me,
I am quite certain she'd give my hand a squeeze 
and pose the familiar question, 
'A penny for your thoughts?' 
Oof. So many. 
And so. It's time to plan a trip. 
One for mind, body and spirit. 
Adventure is calling, friends.
And I must go.
Stay tuned.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

A Year. In Review.

It will be a quiet close to a relatively quiet year.
Some years are packed with adventures, some are a bit more calm.
2013 was on the calmer side of the spectrum. 
Sure, there are some things I would've done differently. 
The usual things, mostly.
I meant to read more books,
and spend less time in front of the computer.
I didn't ride my bike as much as I daydreamed about, 
or keep as many appointments at the gym that I intended too. 
I continued to throw out dishes that I didn't feel like washing when they piled up. 
Probably should have flossed more regularly also.
The good news is, those are all habits that can be remedied
once I throw them on the ol' resolutions list.
 And for the instances that I had less control over,
the unexpected loss of a job,
the unimaginable compromise of a friend's safety,
the hanging around,waiting too long for someone to realize how amazing I thought they were... 
to realize, how amazing they think I am...
Those situations made my heart ache.
But then,
there were the moments that caused it to swell.
I swam in a lot of rivers,
and I hiked a whole bunch of mountains.
I hugged the biggest redwood tree I ever saw,
counted endless shooting stars as they streaked the night sky.
I got a new job, representing a company that I love.
I danced to some really good music.
I made some new friends, and I tried some new foods.
I saw my first bald eagle circle above me on a crisp fall day.
 I watched my hard work unfold as an entire city and all of it's citizens
came together for the ultimate act of kindness,
in helping a little boy's wish come true.
And so it is.
I'll plot more adventures for 2014,
but I chalk this year up to being 'pretty darn good.'
Happy Christmas.
Happy year end, friends.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Snooty Tuesday, on Wednesday.

Yesterday I was in a mood. And let me tell you - not even an adorable puppy could drag me out of it. 
I wanted to punch and fling things. 
A friend and I call this the 'Snooty Tuesdays,' 
regardless of the day of the week.
And then, when someone told me I made their heart smile, 
I just felt like an asshole.
So it was by the grace of good friends, the grinning heart comment and a very thin veil of pragmatism, 
that I resisted the urge to do the following:
  • Dramatically swipe all of the contents on my desk from its’ surface, sending a flurry of office supplies and energy bars into the air to the shock and bewilderment of coworkers.
  • Buy a gigantic, extra-thick strawberry milkshake, remove the cover and splash it directly into a very specific person’s face.  (Basically, reenacting the scene from Grease except that this action would be premeditated on my part, not an impulsive reaction by Rizzo.)
  • Smash my cell phone with a hammer with one swift blow.
(72 min. creation, by me)

I didn't do any of those things…so that’s good. 
Things I did instead:
  • Re-watched a bunch of David Blaine YouTube videos from his celebrity TV special and settled on the conclusion that yes, Woody Allen probably does make his own malteds – which is adorable – and second,  that I need some DB ‘merch’ for Christmas. I proclaimed this need to the entire office. It was received with uncomfortable laughter and shifty eyes.
  • Spent 72 minutes trying to figure out/remember how to insert text on top of a photo in power point. I do not know how to bill this hour and 12 minutes. It should be noted that the determination to succeed here was driven by self-serving reasons, as the project was personal and not client related.
  • Invented a brand spanking new rendition of my popular workout series, “living room interval training,” where I do a bunch of weird, made-up exercises inspired by stuff I vaguely remember from my high school gym class elective: weight room. So, basically I gossiped to myself as I did calf raises and leg lifts. 
Today's better. Tomorrow's Friday.
I head home for Thanksgiving early next week. 
Things are looking up! 
Here's to smiling hearts and a weekend full of gratitude. 

Friday, October 25, 2013

So Long, October

How is it already the end of October? 
I swear, time ticks by faster on the west coast. 
It's been a mix of calm and chaos - without much of a middle ground. 
Some months are like that I suppose, 
but all I wanted for fall is for things to hold steady. 
Did you know that autumn represent wisdom and maturity? 
 I don't feel either of those things at all really. 
My feelings have been mixed up all month,
 making me feel a little confused and foolish.
photo is my own
I think it's tied to the notion of letting go.
Letting go of pain points at work. 
Letting go of circumstances that don't pan out as planned.
Letting go of the questions without answers...
That's hard for me. 
I'm no good with the act of releasing.
I cling to the things that I invest in,
and fiercely 'miss' the expectations that fall flat. 
I bless and let go and then er, I take it all back and try it again. 
You can't say I'm not persistent! 
But there comes a time when one has to step forward and move on. 
In November, I'll do better. 
Have a wonderful weekend my friends. 
Enjoy these last few days of October,
 both the calm and the chaotic. 


Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Chasing Sunsets

Last night, after I got home from work I had a lot on my mind. 
I could have easily sunk onto the couch 
but I needed fresh air and went out for a run.
Rather than run along the water, I decided to take the upper route through a neighborhood of big old rambling houses and sidewalks lined with trees with knotted branches and hot pink blooms.
The sky was starting to show signs of a beautiful sunset, 
and I wanted to chase it.
About halfway to the sky, I stopped to look out towards the bay and watch the clouds turn sorbet peach, pink and orange. 
A guy about my age was admiring the view too.
He was handsome. Settled in his stance. 
 He stepped towards me, explaining he had flown into San Francisco earlier that afternoon, 
but had to get to Humboldt County 
and was in need of directions to the train.
What he was doing – high above the city in this quiet, sleepy neighborhood – I don’t know. 
I talked him through his route. 
I explained that it was simple enough but would take him awhile, and dusk was quickly escaping into dark.  
His disposition was confident and kind with a soft-spoken voice.
The type of temperament that someone who relies on the guidance and help from strangers would have.  
When I told him it might take a bit of time to make his way downtown for the next leg of his journey, 
he responded that he had to walk, and that he didn't mind the dark or the cool air – his only degree of accountability was that he had to be at the next spot at six am.
And I loved him for that response.
And I envied him for his freedom to roam the open road.
Nothing to do but walk and watch and explore – 
all through the night with the simple task of getting to the next destination.
And then doing it all over again.
Happy trails to you, stranger.